Micah 6

We are studying for our finals these days (in fact that is what I should be doing right this second), getting ready to finish our second year of medical school!! CANNOT BELIEVE IT!!! We will immediately begin studying for our Step 1 of the boards following this last week of finals and will take the big test in June. There has been so much going on in our lives, taking the time to be still before the Lord has not been easy to do. But I heard a verse today, that really encouraged me and I wanted to share it with you. I tend to think there are things that I do that like earn me points with God or make me lose points...and when I heard this verse it reminded me, that there is nothing I am capable of doing, except love Him.

"He has showed you, Oh man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. " Micah 6:8

my dear friend

ok, this is short, but more to come soon...I want to encourage everyone to check out my dear friend Meredith Andrews...for those who know her, it is not hard to understand why she is so dear to all of our hearts.
just go to www.meredithandrews.com

oh facebook...

So I should be finishing studying for my human sexuality course that they make us take in medical school...but it is a lot more fun to get to vent about my frustrations and have all you wonderful people read it!

So...has anyone else noticed that facebook has revolutionized our world...it has created this like "fake world" that we all live in. We make sure that we take awesome pics that we can put up on facebook, and of course our profile picture has to make us look straight good...whether that be, "woh check it out...so an so went to Africa or Cambodia" or "man she has gotten so skinny and pretty!". I have gotten a bit annoyed at facebook, because I do the same things! The worst part about it is we feel like we know people based on what they chose to put on their profile, or what they say in their notes, or what they are doing in their pics! I know I feel like I know people and I can make judgements of who they are, because well I saw this and that on facebook! Seriously Beck? It is all so silly to me, yet somehow I am in the middle of it.

I have thought for a while about giving up facebook, and devoting my time to my Lord, my husband, and studies...but somehow I am made to feel like I have to stay on facebook to stay in touch with everyone. hmmm...what about coffee or what about calling each other?! I am so confused about this, because in the recent years facebook has turned into something for me where I catch up on the latest gossip, where I see what this person said on that person's wall. The computer world has changed us, it has changed me, and I don't like it. Maybe I am just annoyed mostly because facebook is not as innocent as it used to be for me. In some ways I have created demons out of something meant to be fun. I know that I am not the only one...I mean who has been devastated when someone denied their friend offer?! WHAT?! Will you be my friend on facebook please, and they say no, and you are like crushed! Sound stupid? Well it happens (did to me!).

Does anyone else know what I mean? Am I alone in this? If my spare time that I have is going to look at facebook and worry about what is happening on facebook, I think something is off. I wonder how much of what happens on facebook glorifies God? That is the question that I think needs to be answered.

By the way, I don't think facebook in and of itself is bad at all, in fact I LOVE getting in touch with my girls from all over and being able to say hello to this person and that person just because I can...but it is not just that anymore. It has turned into a fake world that sucks me in, and I believe that I should be sucked into God's word more than I am facebook. And I wonder whether I should go on a facebook sabbatical until it can become that once again.

1 John

2: 6 "Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did."
2:9 "Anyone who claims to be int he light but hates his brother is still in the darkness."

My Bible study group is about the begin a study on the book of First John. I am really excited about it and really enjoy Tim Keller, the man who wrote it (by the way I HIGHLY recommend his series on marriage, for everyone!). So this morning when I sat down with the Bible I decided to being reading 1 John in order to try to prepare for the study which begins next week. So all that to say these verses rang loud and clear to me...BECKY HELLO!?!? Guys, there is such sin in my heart at times, and it is more than enough to drive a wedge in my walk with the Lord. I wont get too specific, but God is using my husband and his walk to really shed light on areas of my heart that are just wrong...never really seemed wrong to me, but how I can see the deceitfulness of sin. But be encouraged! In 1:9 of the same book, we are told that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and will forgive us, and PURIFY us from all unrighteousness. That is awesome to hear cause man I need some of that purification in some dirty spots that I am hanging on to. It is time to let go of those things...and it is straight hard.

Josh and I are busy studying for exams these days...which I should be doing now! :) We are taking our first step of the National Licensing Exam on June 10th and we will be seeing patients in 12 weeks! HOLY COW! Please begin praying hard for the exam...we will be studying the 5 weeks prior, about 10 hours a day, so we need the prayers and the dedication to remain faithful when it is going to be really hard. Not much else is going on in our life besides being married. Marriage continues to amaze me and it becomes more beautiful with each passing day. I keep telling my dear friend who is getting married that the hard part of engagement will be over and with each day of marriage, you grow closer in a different way. It is amazing! Ok, now to study and to learn so I can help you out when you call me with a problem! HA! Love to you all!

Ducks and Pharisees

So I have been dying to tell someone about the terrible encounter I had with duck mating season. I love ducks, in fact, I had one when I was a kid, her name was Daisy. I think they are the cutest things and if they were bigger I would want to squeeze them like puppies! But I have a bit of a different opinion now because of what I witnessed on my way in to school the other morning. I have never seen ducks have sex, but it was horrible. Like the worst thing you can imagine. The poor girl duck was pounced on, and held down on her little neck by the man duck's beak. I was traumatized. Thankfully the lovely encounter did not last more than a few seconds...but it seemed like forever. I had a horrible mental picture in my head all morning when I was trying to focus on class. The only thing I have seen that is closely related to this, but a bit funnier, was on my honeymoon when we drove past a donkey and a llama. Yeah...weird.

Anyway, I still love girl ducks...but I think I might be becoming a little duck sexist if that is possible. Something about the whole process seemed a bit...wrong.

I was in a meeting today with the CMA leadership team discussing a book we are reading by Os Guisness. Somehow the conversation me to have the opportunity to reminisce on something that really bugs me...about me. So before I was walking with the Lord, like when I was younger, there were a particular group of people that I really did not care for, like could not stand. Those people were the pharisees. I am thinking of no one in particular right now, but just the entourage of people in the church who live as though they have everything figured out. Well I knew deep in my heart that no matter WHAT I was never going to be like one of them. No way! Hmmm, ok, so bringing it back to the present. I have come a bit further in my walk with God these days, like at least I consider myself to now be walking with him. Over the course of the last few years, since medical school, I have seen evidence in my heart of the very thing that I have disdained. No question about it. It is there...the "I would never act like that and I have ARRIVED" mentality. It is funny, because in the midst of that self-righteousness that was taking place in my life, God was choosing to show me how off I am. I am beginning to now see that we all have a little pharisee in us and no one, no matter how great WE think we are, is exempt from a sinful and prideful nature. So when I think I have arrived, or got it all figured out...God has a way of reminding me, simply stated, that I have not. And for this I am grateful.

Enough ramblings. I am off to learn how t do a pelvic and rectal exam...nice after lunch treat. Letcha know how it goes! :)
Philippians 3

lessons must be learned

So I am trying to get better about keeping this thing semi-up to date on life. I always have so many creative ideas and I think "Man I should write a blog about that!" Well then I don't! I am trying to convince my hubby to write one too, so be on the look out for one in the near future! :)

So right now my life consists of studying and studying and more studying. We have the mother of all exams on June 10th and the prayers are greatly appreciated from now until that date! haha! So this semester is focusing on preparing for that test and learning the material from this semester itself. I must say, the most controversial class we have right now in school, and I venture to say throughout our whole medical education, is our "sex ed" class as we call it. OK people, I think most of us by now have an idea about the process of reproducing, however, this class takes it to a whole new level. Don't get me wrong there are plenty important points we need to know, but I am going to opt out of offering you the details of some of the more...disturbing parts.


Every once in a while I get the bright idea of wanting to go somewhere next year. We are young, why not? I want to head south and live in a country that speaks Spanish and learn that junk for real!! I offer the suggestion to Josh and I guess reality sets in and I know we cant, but man that would be sweet.


I think medical school has been the biggest point of growth in my relationship with Christ for many reasons, however, many of these lessons have not been fun to learn. I am a hard headed kid who apparently doesn't get things very easily. There will be plenty more of that to come in the future, but one of the biggest lessons I feel like I am learning now involves trust. I guess I never thought I had an issue with trusting the Lord, but I am being made aware that I am a little off in that statement. I have to trust God above any person, I have to trust Him to lead my heart and mind in how to follow Him. I have to trust Him with the things and people I cannot change and the reconciliation I desire. I have to trust Him to provide my heart with compassion and love when I fight those two things by my flesh.

So like school, I mean medical school, is not enough... there are quite a few more lessons that are being learned by this chica right now, and I guess that is not that terrible of a place to be. OK, enough ramblings... I am being called back to the drugs that treat leprosy. Farewell my peeps.

howlers

My husband and I, well at the time we were just dating, spent the summer in Costa Rica doing a research project. We won a grant for a LOT of money from the medical school and were able to work with 2 missionary doctors that I knew from the previous summer, having worked with them in Peru. The missionaries' names were Alekcey and Judith. They are both family docs that did their residency at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester Minnesota (somewhere Josh and I will explore for our studies!). We were thrilled to receive the grant and the opportunity we were going to have to learn more first hand about the life of medical missionaries, because we are sensing the call of the Lord in some fashion to missions. We spent 7 weeks there, and learned more than I can begin to tell you over this blog...so I decided there is a story that is too wonderful to not share...it involves being chased through the jungle, miles from anyone around us by what we thought was a jaguar... Here we go:

So Josh and I were able to do a little traveling after we finished our research and work with the Cabecars of Costa Rica. We picked the places we wanted to see, and we headed on our way. Now, one of the more remote places we decided to visit was a National Park that Josh had not been to on his previous trip to Costa Rica a few summers ago. The name is Rincon de la Vieja. Now, keep in mind national parks are NOT like what you might be thinking...we are in Costa Rica people, and even though it is the wealthiest country in Latin America...well it is not America.

So the second day we are there, we decided to do a 7km hike to these natural springs. Already since we had been in Costa Rica we had spent 2 full days hiking mountains to get into the reservation...so we think we are pros. So we set off and we are just chatting away, hiking on the dirt path for miles and miles. Well we get literally half way into our journey to the springs, and we STOP dead in our tracks because we hear the most ferocious growl and horrific sounding howl you can imagine, all at the same time. Josh had been leading the way up to this point, and he precedes to turn around, look at me with his jaw dropped and says "what, was, that?" Well I am about to pee in my pants because I am seeing the headlines in our hometown newspaper that said "Medical Students found dead on a trail, mauled by a jaguar"...so as you can imagine, Josh says "RUN!!!!!!!". So I run. We run and we run and we run... literally because we think our lives are about to be over. Josh stops and picks up a big branch and begins to YELL, telling me "YOU HAVE TO BE BIGGER THAN WHATEVER IT IS!! SO TALK LOUD! YELL BECKY!!!!!" So we are walking at this point and Josh is explaining to me, YELLING of course, how he is going to kill the jaguar with his bare hands that is surely going to jump out any second. He is instructing me of what I need to do, and I am naturally going through the motions in my head.

Well for the remainder of our hike to the springs (I had wanted to turn around, long ago), I am so nervous and in all seriousness felt what I believe to be true terror. You see, this is not like some joke, there are jaguars, wild ones, in that park, they don't keep them contained or anything safe like that! So anyhoo, we get to the springs and are so relieved so see a few locals hanging out there. However, it was not soon after that we got there, they left, and we were alone again, 7 km into the jungle. I am really unhappy at this point and any sense of adventure I like to think I have is long gone at the thought of hiking those 7km back right into the danger zone. It was hard to for me to love those sulfur smelling springs too cause all I could imagine was them opening up and swallowing me whole!

A little while after Josh and I are hanging out, a young couple from California walk up. They were quite interesting people and we learned a lot from them about California life. Sounded quite different than what we are used to. So we tell them our horrible story about being chased through the jungle and are a little upset when we see them laughing at us. They looked at each other and laugh, well I was mad cause I mean for real I was terrified...how could you seriously laugh at that??!?! Well in the midst of the humor they inform us that what we heard was not the wild jaguars that were hot on our tail...they were howlers, yes howler monkeys. We had not heard the howlers before then, but apparently this couple had some that liked to hang around right outside their tent they were staying in, so we decided to believe them.

Do I need to tell you how relieved and yet upset I was at the same time?! It was a miserable experience feeling like you are being hunted by something that has like 20 senses and knows where you are going to step before you take the step!!!!! Only to found out they were howlers...hmmm. So Josh and I made the 7km hike back that day miserable for a different reason...the rain decided to come down, and I mean flash flood come down. But I think we would both tell you we would take on the flash floods on dirt trails in the jungle any day over our experience with the jaguars...or should I say howlers? ;)